Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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