if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
