first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
