please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
