What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
