I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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