Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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