dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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