how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
