Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
