The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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