I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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