the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
