You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
