It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize