It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
