i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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