the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
