we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
