you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
