The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My penis needs a shock collar
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
