That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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