I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
