at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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