Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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