This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
