So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize