using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
