I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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