if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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