if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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