No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize