She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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