Moan for me like Helen Keller
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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