thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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