she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
