yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
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I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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