you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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