well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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