Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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