Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
