I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
