he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
