We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
