considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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