Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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