you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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