Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
