dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
