is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
