She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
