Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize