I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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