Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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