My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
