I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
