I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
