Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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