I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just pynch a tree in the face
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize