so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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