You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
