Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
