I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
