So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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