Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
