It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
