He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
